‘Girl Almighty:’ In some alternate universe, they bring a bar to ovation with a rousing rendition of this song performed while standing on tabletops, but other than just being really congratulatory to girls (yay, girls! way to be girls!) there’s not much that’s objectively bad here.But hey, moving on from a breakup feels different to everyone, so maybe they really are on clouds. ‘Clouds:’ Their one “I just got out of a breakup, so I’m going to live it up with my friends!” song, this is empowering, if a little confusing.(Great in an awful, horrible, worst-song-on-their-roster kind of way, but still great.) This is the most Euro song ever, and that’s kind of what makes it great. The heavy Ibiza-ready beat distracted me. ‘Stole My Heart:’ I’m sure there is something bordering an innuendo in this song, but if there is, I can’t find it.In any case, it’s more about treating a girl right than anything else, and treating a girl right doesn’t have to be sexual at all (contrary to what pick up artists the Internet over believe). Maybe it’s a ‘Candle in the Wind’-type situation, or maybe I’m reading to much into the Britishness of it all. ‘Diana:’ I’ve never been able to parse if this song actually exists in a parallel universe where the late Princess of Wales was still alive, but it’s sweet.We are still very much in the “least” end of the spectrum.
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‘Fool’s Gold:’ I mean, when the boys want to break a heart, they know how to break a heart.It’s One Direction’s most Adele-worthy performance.
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This sounds like irreparable heartbreak, honestly, and life’s too short to fix something so broken.